Comments (Page 295)

thanks for the advice, guys. i agree, run-on sentences are definitely a problem.

Good fight, although there was still some un-needed detail in there (although I must commend you on trying, there was definitely less). An example of this is your last sentence. Instead of saying "They did their stuff", you could instead say "The male looked at his mate, and he at her. Perhaps this was the beginning of a successful relationship." This also sets it up for a potential continuation of the story, but leaves the reader at a good ending point.

One thing I did spot in this though, where run-on sentences. Sometimes these are okay, but when your story reads like the average tumblr blog, you might have a problem.

I can't stress it enough that going through your story after you think you've finished and fixing anything until you are absolutely positive it is perfect. Then do it again. This will greatly improve your writing, and as you go you'll find that you are making fewer and fewer changes to your original story.

Something else you may want to try is having someone peer-review your paper. I know that many members on the forums would be glad to help you with this, including myself.

Again though, good fight, with some creative kills (Giga crushing a raptor with its neck), and a very interesting way of introducing the fighters (raptor hitch-hiking on the corpse). Keep it up though, and you'll do great.

Edit: And yes, pictures are good.

Yeah, the pictures are good.

Grammar wise, absolutely. You did great. 

and do you like the pictures?

oops. I'll remember that. Was it better than last time?

Nice fight.

Paragraphs are nice. They make it easier to keep track of where you are. 

Good job still. 

what cerato said.

I have a second to comment(on the computer for work). I'd just like to thank everyone for their support and comments. Not just for this, but ever since I left. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten the forums :)

Yes Anky, we have every single topping you can imagine for pizza.

Just posted it on my weekly update topic:

I already did this topic a couple weeks ago. :)

0_0

Crazy how nature do dat.

ALPHADINO65 - Blast that infernal Sir Isaac Newton! ;)

The Spinosaurus of JP3 entered the nublar island and there was killed by Tyrannosaurus of JP1, before the construction of the new park.

Guys, I think the Illuminati is real!  This proves it!  The convergence of continents making an I.rex is proof!! :P

SILVER_FALCON - WHAT THE...?! Hahaha! That is bloody fantastic! I can certainly see how this could be linked to Indominus Rex! Thank you so much for sharing this very interesting find! :)

RAPTOR-401 - This is fantastic news! I am so very proud of Taylor! Thank you ever so much for presenting this to us! :)

O.O *Stares at screen, watching for something with the map* *Jumps back when the continents start to move* *Eyes widen when it reveals... A dinosaur similar to Indominus Rex* What kind of sorcery is this!?!?

*Looks closely to the screen to investigate why theres just a map*

*Is shocked that it is in fact, not a map.*

Good to see Taylor is Making a bit of a name for himself in the Dinosaur world, Or, at least a bigger name. I remember when Everything Dinosaurus was only like, 5 dinosaurs big. I never actually knew how extensive his archives on Dinosaurs was. 

I've never heard of the podcast though, So I'll have to listen to that today. 

Good for him. I've seem then podcast before and found it interesting. 

This was interesting! Thanks for sharing this! :)

What kind of sorcery is this?! Nah, I knew this trick.

omg a giant allosaurus XD

XD ahahahhahah omg the first thing i want to see if someone will create a time machine is a high sauropod XD

yup the skeleton head is a spinosaurus but i dont think he will come back in JW but suchomimus and baryonyx are in the film :D

cool i would train a spinosaurs because he was the largest theropod ever , he can intimidate other large predators with his size without fighting and best of all riding a giant beast like that would be awsome

yup it looks like a dragon, but there are some problems with the new reconstruction look scott hartman article to get more information, and a animal with that lenght couldn't weight 3 or 5 tons, he weighted 8+ tons and probaly he was not a fully quadrupedal animal

lego and map photos are something like spoilers for the movie. So I believe that we may see dilo for just seconds like we saw ceratosaurus in JP3. It isnt impossible that he may be in it, it could be a good tribute for JP

It might. There's a possibility, with one appearing on the species screen in the Innovation Center-

Plus, there's a toy being released, AND a rumored scene of a Dilophosaurus killing someone peeing in the jungle.

First of all, learn your dinosaurs.  Dilophosaurus didn' spit venom, pterodactyl wasn't a dinosaur, velociraptors were only 3 feet tall, and tyrannosaurus wasn't as fierce as it seemed.

Secondly, keep it consistent.  Most people talk about dinosaurs by genus.  If you're going to say "dilophosaurus" and not "dilophosaurus wethrelli", then say "tyrannosaurus" and not "T. Rex".

Third, it's T. Rex, so don't call it a T-Rex.  That's not a thing.

Fourth, everyone is wondering about the dominant species.  I play their game, JPB, so I get pre releases.  There is no "D-Rex" and the T. Rex is not a big part in the movie.  The genetic hybrid that was named "Indominus Rex" is the dominant species and also the escapee terror.

Fifth, learn your grammer people!

-Just some advice... I recomend you learn it.

BTW: What is everyone talking about with the brochure and dinosaur list?  Am I missing something?  

Updated with the new Mosasaur model.

Honestly? Paden and Carno, you two have been some of my biggest inspirations on these forums.

Carno's extremely interesting and factual posts (namely the ones where he explains what he thinks a dino's size is and why) have made me interested in learning about such things for myself.

Paden, you, and the DWCs I entered, have been some of the biggest inspirations for me and my writing. Thank you for that.

Finally, everyone who has left nice comments on my SURVIVE episodes, thank you. You are what kept me going with that series, and why I will be releasing the first parts of ESCAPE very soon.

A weaponized Gyrosphere? Neat.

I'm usually not around much but I remember Rex-Fan and Chris seemed nice. 

Cool! Thanks for sharing these! :)

Hm... Mr. Happy and RexFan inspired my dinosaur battles, and I remember when 401 started the Fight of the Ages, I made a creature and then made a series out of it.

^They're on their Facebook page.