x_paden_x
MemberCompsognathusMay-09-2014 8:37 PMWhoa, Tis been a while since I last posted many Disscusions in one day...
Anyhow.
I have finished the Results of the First Dinosaur Writers challenge.
Now, You all did good, It was Very Hard to place... Very hard.
"Great Men, Are forged in Fire, It is the previlage, of lesser men, To light the flame."
While Ranking the Stories, I decided to rank based off of:
Story Arc.
Park Setting.
Logic.
Grammar.
And, Realness of a Dinosaurs Perspective.
I had a point System Of Twenty, For everything that Fit one of the above Items, Was worth a point.
Now, We had Five Submissions, And There must always be a lesser man... Sadly. I will give you Info To improve on.
Number: 5
17/20
Day in the life of Carcharodontosaurus By Carnosaur.
Now, You did Very well, However, You didn't always capitalize Your I's, Which Sorta bugged me, But your Grammar and word choice made up for it. However, An Invisible Fence... I was sorta Confused by such a thing, Which I suppose your dino was too. The Goat was a nice touch, and your Carchar Getting tired of the Humans was done excellently. Your park setting was a nice choice.
Number: 4
17.9/20
Day In the life of : Velociraptor, By Sci-fi King25.
Short but sweet-- Except Gruesome. Your simulation of A Park Enviroment was good. I was truly expecting a different Enclosure for dangerous animals. Combination of Glass and Wires would make for a fairly good fence against The raptors... 'Cept the glass, I believe you may have wanted Plexi-Glass instead. I suggest of further Improvement, Would be to have a First Person Story, Not be so Ominescent. Which means that the Raptor doesn't know so much... But, There is a fair chance your story was intended to be First POV Ominescent, However... It seemed to be leading on just First person, And then leaned over to Ominescent. It was a really well lead on, Which given time, Could lead to an actual story.
Number: 3
18.2/20
Day in the Life of: Spinosaurus, By Gojira2K.
You had a very well written Story, Well done. However... Not much really happened, Which I suppose is Expected due to containment. It was well written, But Kinda dull... I think, given the circumstances, You'll do much better during the next Writers challange. Overall, You did well.
Number 2
18.5/20
Day in the Life of: Tyrannotitan By UCMP 118742
Firstly, Great Job. Splendid. You got a Dinosaurs P.O.V. Just right, Plus, The Little girl, wanting to stay, and just Watch Tyrannotitan, Was a very nice touch. You lost A mark Due to it all being one giant Paragraph. Not everyone has a desktop to work on, So it is understandable. To improve, I suggest going over your Article next time, Before posting.
Number: 1
18.9/20
Day in the life of: The King. By Mr.Happy9097
Your Expiernce shows Old Friend. You had a good set up, Believable Setting, And a good Predators feeling towards humans. As good as your Piece was, There is flaws, {Its litterally Inevitable}. One would include a bloody cliff ending... But I can only imagine what the Rex did.
Honourable Mention:
A Day in the Life of: Rexy, By Primal King.
A story that would've taken First, had it been Submitted Earlier. Good Job.
This conludes the Results from the First Dinosaur Writers challange. I'm a super nice Guy, This was very difficult to choose a winner. You are all great writers...
Take pride when you say "I am a Dinosaur Writer!"
Cheers, And Good luck on your next Challange!
-Paden
Life cannot be contained, it breaks walls, crashes through barriers sometimes painfully, but uh... Life uh, finds a way
Gojira2K
MemberCompsognathusMay-09-2014 8:40 PMI will definitely take 3rd. I knew Mr. Happy was going to win. Everyone else did a great job.
"There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self." - Ernest Hemingway.
x_paden_x
MemberCompsognathusMay-09-2014 8:58 PMAnything, Can happen.
Life cannot be contained, it breaks walls, crashes through barriers sometimes painfully, but uh... Life uh, finds a way
Something Real
MemberTyrannosaurus RexMay-09-2014 9:11 PMLord Vader
MemberTyrannosaurus RexMay-10-2014 4:01 AMIn all fairness, I was expecting to be second to UCMP. I agree with results however, and nice marking system.
I thought the cliff hanger would be an interesting way to leave off in case of a second Day in the Life of story.
Jack of all trades. Master of none
Sci-Fi King25
MemberAllosaurusMay-10-2014 4:36 AMCongradulations to all of you! :D
(I tried to make the enclosure detailed [like adding plexi-glass] without the raptor knowing too much)
“Banana oil.”- George Takei, Gigantis: The Fire Monster
UCMP 118742
MemberCompsognathusMay-10-2014 9:19 AMWow, I didn't expect to be second. This is... I don't know what to say. Well, you all did very well. I have to agree on Mr.Happy's placement. I wasn't expecting to be this high up. It was a lot of fun writing my story and reading your stories. I hope that we'll be able to do something similar some time soon.
Keep in mind that many people have died for their beliefs; it's actually quite common. The real courage is in living and suffering for what you believe in. -Brom-
x_paden_x
MemberCompsognathusMay-10-2014 10:22 AMUCMP Probably would've taken First, Had he broken his story into paragraphs.
This challange is to help Imrove the writers on JW Forum, Although most of you are fairly Expirenced.
Life cannot be contained, it breaks walls, crashes through barriers sometimes painfully, but uh... Life uh, finds a way
Carnosaur
MemberCompsognathusMay-10-2014 10:27 AMi also agree with the placing, also, i finished my park staff story if y'all are interested :D
Nature doesn't deceive us; it is we who deceive ourselves.