Return of the Dinosaur King: Battle of Titans The advisor Legendary place:Chupacabra’s Jungle
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MemberCompsognathusJan-02-2014 9:51 AMLegendary place:Chupacabra’s Jungle
It was the humans ships, but there seems to be something wrong with them. Then one of them exploded another tremor happened something was attacking them but we could not tell what. We went to the king to tell him what is happening he lay there like nothing is happening asleep from his battle with the god but, something else was there it was a mammal I could tell the form the smell but something seemed off about the scent it was no mammal in this area. Walking towards the king we saw nothing near him looking toward the battle ground we saw something, it was moving across it scavenging. It was canine like but it moved across the clearing more like it had hooves, then wind direction changed and the creature lifted it snout up. Then turned toward us startled it went into a defensive stance then, the king awoke starting to move he stood up he turned around to see the creature the creature reacted very differently then to us. The king then spoke to us “ That is a creature that I thought died out in the second war a very old predator for mammals. That is what human call andrewsarchus and it is very young one it is barely half it full size and it looking for food.” Then the king walked toward the creature, then we followed. We noticed how bad condition it was in you could see the ribs and spine of the beast, The king told us to find food as he takes the creature to his army. As we search for food we saw a lone sauropod left behind from the heard that past form here 3 months ago it was too old to stand I came in for a quick kill grabbing ahold of the head ripping it off very easily. Taking as much as I could in my mouth I head back to the clearing, but something was wrong with the meat it was dry the sauropod was missing large amount of blood. Something else is there I could smell it but I could not tell where it was then, I figured it out they were everywhere reptile-like dog with long spike coming out of there backs long teeth meant for hold prey but these are not any creatures I know of running at me and Aristion. To many to count we stood our ground one of the creature jumped on me I grabbed it with my jaw shaking it to death it blood was bitter and poisonous to mammals, but to me it was just bitter. With the death of one more seem to come out of the jungle, they keep getting larger it seem that they are never going to stop coming out of the jungle. Knowing that they probably never going to stop I yelled at Aristion “ we need to leave this part of the jungle, there are too many of them we need to go now.” Rushing through the jungle knocking over tree in my way as we continue to run as I look behind me the huge pack of blood suckers continue to pursue us until we made it to the clearing it is close to dusk. When we pass into the clearing we turned around as the mass of blood sucker stop at the end of the jungle one of the creature fell out almost immediately it started to scream and its scales seemed to burn and then the creature died. Run toward the king and the small creature the king saved were laying there the king lifted his up and looked over to us we have to telling the king what happened he looked concerned Talking to us “ We need to exterminate those monsters before they make it to the city about 50 mile from here. Also we need are new allie to make it to caption donovan to warn him of what coming because we will more then like not get all of them.” Turning toward the sun that has almost set the king then looked down toward the creature and spoke in a different language and seemed to tell it to leave then the beast ran toward the city. As it went out of sight the sun vanished and a horrible screeching noise came from the jungle behind us turning around the blood sucker have grown to the size of us. Standing our ground we waited for the monster to charge when they did not the king did and us right behind him. The king attack was the most effected against the creatures. The fire was as bright as the sun causeing the first group of blood sucker to fall over in agony from the intense light. When the fire died down the creature have left the king spoke to use “ I fear this is not the last of them.”
( '_')=mm=('_' ) brofist
Lord Vader
MemberTyrannosaurus RexJan-02-2014 10:09 AMGood job. One tip: Paragraphs are useful, I lost track a few times because it's so "chunky."
Jack of all trades. Master of none
x_paden_x
MemberCompsognathusJan-02-2014 1:04 PMParagraphs are your friends, as mr.happy stated, they are good to use in these circum stnaces...
(also is this the first segment or a sequel or something? confused whats going on ...?)
Life cannot be contained, it breaks walls, crashes through barriers sometimes painfully, but uh... Life uh, finds a way
DinoSteve93
MemberCompsognathusJan-02-2014 2:46 PMNice chapter, but I ,gree with the others. Paragraphs, and punctuation would help a lot.
PS- Paden, this is a story about fights between dinosaurs-monsters-aliens-gods, for the control of the world. TLK has already posted a considerable amount of chapters.
Proud founder of the site Theropods Wiki! www.theropods.wikia.com
Ultra Predator
MemberCompsognathusJan-02-2014 3:12 PMI know it slips my mind some time to use paragraph
( '_')=mm=('_' ) brofist
x_paden_x
MemberCompsognathusJan-02-2014 4:25 PMAh, that makes a more considerable amount of sense... I was so confused.... I though the cattle barn was talking to me....
Anyways, Just a tip, Once you've written your chapter, go over it again, for puncuation and paragraphs... & if you really need to pm it to someone for editing
Life cannot be contained, it breaks walls, crashes through barriers sometimes painfully, but uh... Life uh, finds a way