ODMD: The Valley of Gwangi

Kattozilla
MemberBrachiosaurusSep-23-2019 9:48 AMOk, so starting off, I decided to make a new series. ODMD stands for "Obscure Dinosaur Movie Day". I will review a strange/underrated/not very known dinosaur-themed movie. That means no JP or anything. There probably won't be a schedule either, so stay tuned. Anyways, hope you enjoy my first review.
I recently watched this over the weekend, and BOI was it crap. It's still fun, mostly to make fun of. I watched this before beginning to watch One Million Years B.C., but I got a bit bored so I didn't finish that. Anyway, let'sa goooo
PLOT
There's a guy, and he's looking for another guy with a group of people. Then they find him, but he's dying and he has a cloth bag that's neighing for some reason. Then there's a gypsy and she says it's cursed. FAST FORWARD, We're in Mexico now, and there's a rodeo. They have a show, a reenactment of the cowbois and indians. We see our main man, Tuck, as he meets a Mexican boi named Lope. Then, we see our female lead, T.J., as she and her horse jump into a crate of water with FREAKN FIRE around the rim. But she lives and everybody's happy. We then see that Tuck was actually T.J.'s former boyfriend. But T.J. doesn't like him anymore. Because hes a showoff. Then there's a bullfight and Lope, dat little idiot gets the bull's attention but he trips and Tuck has to go in and get him before he gets rekt. Then he gets hit by the bull, then a guy named Carlos goes in and wrestles the thing, without seemingly getting hurt, when Tuck was in lots of pain when the bull barely touched him- Then when T.J. seems to be an actually good female lead, she becomes a generic girl love interest and they get back together. Then T.J. plays a music box and then-remember that guy with the cloth bag?- a tiny horse (actually it's an Eohippus) comes out named El Diablo. They're going to put him on the back of her horse and he's gonna dance. Tuck then rides on a horse with Lope in the desert and meet a paleontologist named Bromley and he shows him the tracks of a horse with three toes and he brings him to the rodeo to show him Diablo. Then he's like "My god its a prehistoric horse" and then they meet with that creepy gypsy from the beginning and she tells Bromley to bring him back because it's cursed and yada-yada-yada, he brings him back to the "Forbidden Valley" in hopes to find MOAR prehistoric discoveries. They chase him down, then try to catch Diablo but he goes Sonic speed and escapes through a cave...hole...thing. They follow him, and then a Pteranodon (mistakenly called a Pterodactyl,) swoops in and grabs Lope (don't worry they don't kill the kid, if they did we'd have another Jaws on our hands) The Pteranodon falls because I guess it's never carried anything heavy. Then Carlos also decides to wrestle it, and somehow wins by snapping its neck. The group then sees a Ornithomimus and decide, because they are in the "torturing poor animals" business, they chase the poor creature until an Allosaurus, or Tyrannosaurus I don't really know (because it has three fingers, but they call him a Tyrannosaurus), destroys it and pursues them. Bromley is left behind, and hides as a Styracosaurus APPEARS and scares the Tyrannosaurus away, not before confiscating le pterosaur. Bromley goes back to "camp" and Tuck punches a guy who was on the team because he's mad. Then o no, the Tyrannosaurus reappears and attacks, but they rope him down. BUT THEN, the Styracosaurus from before comes back and battles him. For some reason they set the bushes on fire and stab Styra, I dunno WHY, but then Tyranno kills it and manages to catch Carlos and seemingly "kills" him yet all he did was barely bite down and gently set in on the ground. He's about to catch them, but then there's a landslide that knocks him out. They take him to the rodeo and name him "Gwangi" (hence the name) with normal wood and ropes which he should easily break yet he doesn't. By now, I should tell you one thing...Gwangi is really stupid. He snaps at people with his head 10 feet above them. He's probably a juvenile or adolescent. Anyway, they bring him to the arena and a dwarfed gypsy comes in to free Gwangi because he's dumb, and Gwangi of course eats him. Then he battles an elephant and wins. Also Bromley's dead because the bars crush him. Then he, along with Tuck, T.J., and Lope get locked in a cathedral and gets distracted from the organ and Tuck stabs him with a flag. They all escape, but not before Tuck throws a torch and sets the building on fire. The three lock Gwangi inside and the dinosaur gets rekt from the falling debris. The townspeople all stare, and for some reason Lope in crying but then it's the end.
OVERVIEW
It's OKKkkk... but some things: T.J. could've been a good female lead, but she becomes the generic, ditsy love interest. And Gwangi was REALLY stupid.
Hope you like this thing. If interested, please tell me. Anyways byyyeeee~