Lord Vader
MemberTyrannosaurus RexApr-26-2016 7:05 PMMiss the previous chapter? Follow the link provided.
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The Trek Continues
I woke up at the same time as usual. I looked around. Didn't have f*cktards to deal with, which is nice. I scoped out the area and had breakfast. I didn't see anything that would be an immediate danger besides a lone Allosaurus, but I'll deal with that when necessary. .50 BMG vs anything lighter than about six tons is .50 BMG every time in the right hands. Not trying to sound arrogant, but I've got the right hands.
I walked out of the building and started heading south. There's a dock down in the south and it's my best bet at getting out of this place. I figured I should only be a week getting to the south if I go at my pace rather than the useless bastard pace. I could probably do it quicker, but I like my sleep, and I like waking up in the morning. By waking up in the morning, I mean in this situation. I like waking up on this island because it means nothing killed me in my sleep. I don't like waking up in the morning any other time. Waking up means I have to get out of bed, put on pants and do stuff.
As I walked, I was on constant alert. In a jungle like this, you never know where danger is going to come from. The Allosaurus, for example, could prove to be dangerous if it finds me before I find it. It's a predator, I'm smaller than it, I'm on the menu. I saw the occasional life form. All herbivores. I wasn't worried about them. What I was worried about was carnivores. They tend to be near herbivores, so I figured that damn Allosaurus was near by.
I ever mention this island was in the middle of a drought? I feel like I have but I'm not completely sure. I know I mentioned it before I had to rewrite this because my old iPad went stupid. Right around this part of the story I had a chapter called forest....... Wait, I'm getting too far ahead of myself now. I'll tell you what happens in a few minutes from now when it actually happens. So yeah, island's in the middle of a long drought, in case I didn't mention it.
As I was walking, M107 ready to kill, I saw something move ahead of me. It wasn't the normal herbivore I've seen. This bugger was too fast and agile. That had to be the Allosaurus. I took aim, but just as quickly as I found it, I lost it. That isn't good. I lowered the gun and continued looking around. There was no sign of it anywhere. I really didn't want to head into the dense brush that was ahead now, but I have another idea.
I set the M107 down and grabbed the SPAS 12. The SPAS 12 was loaded with dragon's breath. I took several shots into the brush. Some shots into the tree tops, some into the undergrowth. Just as I had hoped, the dragon's breath lit the area on fire and the fire was quickly spreading. That'll get the Allosaurus out.
I picked up the M107 again and started running through the brush. There was a river about half a mile away from where I am now. I'll be across it in no time and be able to watch the forest burn. I ran through the woods at a good pace, but the fire was spreading faster than before. It was starting to spread way faster than I had anticipated. This isn't good. I picked up the pace and made it to the river just as the flames caught up to me. I dove into the water and swam across without incident. I climbed a tree to rest and catch my breath.
As I watched the fire on the opposite side, I had the M107 ready to be fired, and I started to think. I haven't had time to think, so now this is going to hit me like a train. Emotions that I've pushed back, memories, the fact that I miss my friends and family, everything.
Emotions. Honestly, I hate people with a passion. I hate social interaction, I hate being stuck in crowds, I hate being out in public. The confusing part is the fact that I'm emotional. I enjoy hugs and I love when people tell me they love me. I hate people with a passion, but I only want to be accepted. I guess my hatred has to do with the fact that I'm not the most accepted person around. I'm quite the opposite. I'm a bit racist, I'm an asshole, I have anger issues, all kinds of stuff that people hate. I'm an outcast, always have been. I had two friends, two damn good friends, who accepted me for who I am. Everything made sense with those two. I could put my thoughts into words and I could talk to them about what was bothering me. They hugged me too. That was always a bonus. Everything felt better when I hugged the one (one guy, one girl, guy doesn't like long hugs with other guys, I don't blame him honestly). With her, I could hold on as long as I needed. It felt safe, like nothing could go wrong. I still remember the one talk we had. I said something along the lines of "A heart full of love and mind full hate. Let the heart win a few times and now it keeps beating my mind. I used to be able to tell any and all emotion to f*ck off, but not anymore". That's what I said the one day with her.
I felt a tear roll down my face. Dammit I miss that woman. I miss my fiancée too, but dammit do I ever miss her. She was the first one I felt accepted by. She was the first one I could truly be myself with. She was the first person I could be with all day, and the only reason I wasn't sad when we had to go home was because I knew I'd be with her all day the next day. The two of us were pretty much the same person. We had different interests, but we were still similar enough that we easily got along. Our conversations went anywhere and everywhere. One minute, we're bitching about everything, the next, we're making racist jokes about the driver in front of us who can't drive. After that, a sunscreen add plays on the radio and she's telling me how it's not fun to have a sunburn on your boobs. I can imagine that not being fun. Random shit like that and I loved every minute of it. I have so many stories I could tell you about her and I'd be smiling like an idiot remembering every single one of them. That's a different story though. Back to the story at hand.
I snapped back to reality. I could feel the emotion leave my body. I took several deep breaths to calm my nerves. My grip tightened on the gun, but my finger never depressed the trigger. I looked up and down the river. I didn't see anything. I must have been watching for a half hour. I didn't see anything and my mind started to wander again.
As I was laying in the tree, I felt another tear roll down my face, followed by another. I took a few deep breaths to try and calm down, but it didn't work. My breathing went shallow, and I could feel my entire body shaking. I didn't make a sound, but damn did I want to. Everything just sunk in. I miss my friends. I miss my family. I miss my fiancée. I'm lonely. I'm scared. I may have the firepower to take on an army, but I feel defenceless.
Last time I felt defenceless, I had a breakdown in front of my friend. I was sleep deprived, boss was pissed off at me and I was stressed out from school. I was barely keeping myself together when we started talking that time. She knew me. She knew me too well. She knew something was wrong and she asked. I told her what was wrong. I told her I needed a hug and a nap at that point. I still remember that day. She smiled and said "I can help you with the hug". We hugged, it made a miserable day a good day, and we agreed to just hug whenever one of us needed it. I still hug her whenever I see her. I was never hugged much as a child, and I'm getting off topic again.
I snapped back to reality when I felt the wind change. I could feel the tears still streaming, I couldn't keep the gun steady to save my life I was shaking so bad, and the wind was blowing burning leaves across the river.
Jack of all trades. Master of none
Something Real
MemberTyrannosaurus RexApr-26-2016 8:49 PMLORD VADER - Wow! That was a fantastically in-depth chapter! The emotional rigors faced by the protagonist are quite interesting - and I can certainly feel his turmoil as I read! Fantastic work! Thank you ever so much for continuing to share this excellent story with us! :)
I Meme Everything
MemberAllosaurusApr-27-2016 11:51 AMYour character reminds me so much like myself.
"Part of the journey is the end..."
Lord Vader
MemberTyrannosaurus RexApr-27-2016 4:45 PMThanks. I feel that it makes the story feel more authentic given the characters a range of emotions rather than just neutral and angry. Giving the characters emotion also makes them more relatable and people tend to like characters they can relate to and feel sympathy for.
Jack of all trades. Master of none
I Meme Everything
MemberAllosaurusApr-27-2016 5:15 PMNP. It's true, though.
"Part of the journey is the end..."